Confusion..!!!

what the hell is confusion
is the feeling true or just an allusion
i tell myself ..i know of myself..
there cant be a time when i have an illusion
of course i know what to think..of course i know what to do
i can have no confusion...i can have no confusion

but now,
i aint sure of my steps
my once giant leaps in wretched wrecks
i once had a gaily gait
there isnt a sign of that healthy trait
i was known to solve problems ethereal
now i scratch my head at things so trivial
my voice ,was exemplum of phlegmatic speech
now i shout , stutter and screech
my beaming smile aint so sure
to this confusion i find no cure


cant i think what is best
isnt it the same scene where i used to relax and rest
my mind and heart have entered a collusion
oh my god!!.. this is confusion
now i am wasted , vexed and bruised
what the hell!!,i am confused..damn hell,i am confused..!!!

Aiming the Grammys

Its 3 AM , and the hostel corridor looks like a desolate wasteland..I can see ghostly apparitions but cannot trace a living soul.Every breath i take,every
sound i make reverberates in the secluded block.Suddednly i find a wraith walking through the darkness towards me ,with a face so dark that even darkness dreaded to reveal his face.i shudder but somehow muster up the courage to light up my phone torch and hold it straight at the phantom's face.
Phew..!!!! i breath a sigh of relief recognizing the ex-ghost as one of my friends Rahul.

No, i am not on the set of a horror movie but its one of those dreaded power cuts and most of the block people are asleep making it no less than a horror
movie set. We decide to move to the roof.Wind is blowing with full force which is a relief from the morning sun's blaze. But relief is short lived because
Rahul has brought his guitar with him and is as usual proving to be a nuisance,persuading me to make a song on the new tune he has made.I try to dismiss him politely but adamant as he is,i have to budge ..but promising myself that it wont take long and this will finish his guitar once and for all for the night.

i start off uninterested but soon i realize that woah..!! the proposition aint that bad.We have the protagonist of our heroic song right here in our block..none better than tiddu,reasons for that being...we will have loads to write and the song could never be banal..the spice element will be there.
I sit with rahul engrossed,racking our brains for the tiniest bit of truth that could be exhumed and used as the lyrics.We laugh, we debate,we question, we challenge the credibility of the lyrics and after a brainstorming session we come out with a satisfactory copy of the song..our heads held high as though the next grammy's is ours..oh!! damn yes we are elated. We label this short litte session of ours as the making of "tiddu mere yaar"- yes this is the title of the song.i listen to the recording again revelling in its symphony...it all seems so perfect.
The power's back and it is getting pretty late so we decide to sleep. i come back to my room, turn off the lights and lie down in order to sleep only to notice a faint smile crested on my lips..as if a person sleeps contended after the day's toil.
(Ohhh yes i am surely going to get the grammy's in my dreams...!! ;) )

Life "JUST" before death..

It wont probably be the best topic to have as your first blog post and perhaps not the best but as for the present , the question seems very intriguing to me so i would like to start off with this one..
a simple question..what would u like to do in your next 24 hours if you knew u would die after that..??
(to correct myself...not a simple question but an intriguing one indeed..)
well pondering over the question lead me to some very interesting insights..how much work i have left unfinished planning for future tasks that i may not get even an oppurtunity to complete..how many things i had sidelined , for the things that could have been deferred and how much i wanted to do them..
The answer varied from proposing someone to trying out drugs but the most common point put forward by most people was that they would like to let ,the people they love , know how much they care about them and love them. Everyone would like to do that in his/her last hours but the question arises..why do it only then?
most of us have some untended aspirations...deep down we have them.. that we so dearly want to complete...but we barter them for things that are not commensurable to them. we keep on deferring the proposition to go ahead with them until we are forced to do them or we have no alternative left.
there are people in our life that we love but we hesitate admitting it to them or maybe do not feel the need to do it but leaving them leaves you with no choice but to divulge it all.
There are always things undone but so wanted to be done..which we would only do when we know we have no choice or more aptly no escape route left.
But why..? From childhood our head is stuffed with myriad ideologies one of them being
"do not put off until tomorrow what u can do today."
None of us would be knowing whether the next 24 hours would be our last or not..we may not even get a chance to do the stuff we listed we would want to do in our last times.
The panacea for the problem lies in rising up from our slumber and tending to our deep unfulfilled desires..
i wonder about an ideal man whom when asked this question would reply " i cannot find anything special to do, i would live it as i have been living my other days..!!"
but i dont think he exists....or does he????